just to think of you

i forget more often 

and my tea grows cold 

through forgetfulness 

when i am thinking of you 

and i don't like room temperature things

some sensory 

food thing

(related to my adhd) 

twinings out of the cupboard 

off the shelf 

and i would forget myself 

just to think of you 

and i have walked 

downstairs 

and upstairs 

and downstairs again 

carrying my room temperature mug

and its liquid contents

to be warmed to hot 

in the microwave 

again 

just to think of you 

to think of you 

and only you 

meanwhile 

the ceramic of the mug is heating my hand 

a little too hot again

and you were the last hot thing i held in my

hand 

and you were the last warm thing i held in my

heart

i don't have caffeine

most of the time 

and i don't have alcohol 

at all

ever 

i have a decaf green tea 

three or four times a day 

even in the 

shitty 

rainy 

humid heat 

of british july 

even when i don't really get what happened 

or understand why 

still

i let my tea grow cold 

just to think of you