vague

you and i

are clearly quite vague 

so i'll be straight-necked 

and well-postured enough for us both

for the times i falter 

can you give me a hand?

pick up the slack

i've got a bad back 

after all 

and i can't keep it together 

all of the time

like i pretend i can 

all of the time

i sometimes feel 

as unknowing as when i was nine

at times i feel new to love

and things similar

always feeling naive to how it feels to lose it 

until it is happening again

as though it were for the first time

i am slow to change what i know in my head

to be good and right 

i am trying to pull it down 

from my head 

letting it fall like

gravity to my heart

letting the glittery, smoky 

sediment collect 

to lay heavy there for some time

glowing sort of grey 

and feeling sort of 

shitty and crappy inside 

until 

one day 

i am okay

all clean

and sexy 

all shiny

and silver

again